"Bitches: The Movie" #1 at the Box Office

Early 2006 in Hollywood, CA: two rookie screenwriters anxiously wait outside a boardroom on the Walt Disney lot. As they sit on pins & needles, they finally hear, "Analisa & Jeff, come on in". The pair of youngsters enter to find a "who's who" of studio execs. The time has come to make their pitch...

--Analisa/ Jeff: "Gentlemen, in our hands, we hold the script to the next Disney blockbuster. We understand that Americans are fickle people. With that in mind, we need to strike while the iron is hot...and right now, nothing says 'that's hot' like Paris Hilton."

--Exec #1: "Isn't she a whore? How could we possibly incorporate her into a Disney movie?"

--Analisa/ Jeff: "Sir, we are one step ahead of you. Since Paris would obviously be off limits for a child's film, we have to associate ourselves with the object most likely to be linked to her."

--Exec #2: "Are you talking about medicated topical cream?"

--Analisa/ Jeff: "No sir, I am talking about Tinkerbell. We make a movie about a spoiled chihuahua. It will be among the cheapest films this studio has ever produced. All we need are some dogs, a jar of peanut butter, and a slew of C-list Latino actors for the Spanish influenced voice overs."

--Execs: "We're sold. Someone call Cheech and George Lopez ASAP."

In case you were wondering, this is not an actual transcript of the "pitch" conversation. However, Beverly Hills Chihuahua is currently the number one film in America. Since stocks are falling and jobless rates are rising, it seems like the perfect time for Americans to spend $29 million to watch a movie about privileged talking dogs. For a complete box office summary, click here...