Since no one in Hollywood has an original bone in their body, it pains me to announce the pending arrival of yet another movie remake. Jaden Smith (ie mini Fresh Prince) will take over the role of the "kid" in a new Karate Kid project(anticipated release date unknown as of this time). Let me guess the plot of the film...Smith is a poor, p*ssy kid growing up on the wrong side of the tracks. After years of being pushed around by his "gangster" peers, he meets a wise Asian (played by either Jackie Chan, Jet Li, the Donger from Sixteen Candles, or Takashi from Revenge of the Nerds...RIP Pat Morita) who takes young Jaden under his wing and teaches him valuable life lessons through martial arts.
Please tell me those diabolical bastards over at Cobra Kai are behind this plot. Another Karate Kid remake? How quickly have we forgotten The Next Karate Kid? Though it did launch the career of Hillary Swank (which definitely had more to do with her talent and killer body than the script of that film), the movie totally sucked balls. First a white girl, now a black kid...guess we have to cover all of the bases. I am not looking forward to 2015, when I see the trailer for The Martial Arts Guy. It will star Cheech as a geriatic former hairdresser struggling to survive gang violence in Mexico City...until Mr. Miyagi's granddaughter (played by Lucy Liu) proves age is just one more obstacle that can be overcome by the power of karate.
Anyway, here is a classic tournament montage clip from the original (I *heart* Joe Esposito)....
No comments:
Post a Comment