What What....

I may be a few years late on this video but this shit is hilarious. Remembered it from South Park but never actually watched the video.

Tuesday Night Filler....

A little hazing, a little booze, little hot arse, a wax "mouth-breather" and a TN Vol pullin' a cheap shot and still losing by 24 points. Just wait till next year, says Rocky Top! Click here for the gallery.

Enjoy.

Rubbing It Raw

A 77 year old Brooklyn tax attorney named William Halby owes well over $10,000 in back due NY state taxes. While it may not be terribly uncommon for lawyers to lie or fail to "practice what they preach", it is odd for any educated person to try to pass off $322,000 worth of sexual expenses as tax deductible. That rights, Mr. Halby shelled out over 300 Gs on items ranging from massages to lube to Viagra to nipple clamps...& tried to write it off. That takes some major balls (no matter how old, "dangly", beaten, & dried up those stones may be) Click here for more...

Seriously, how do I look?

Our favorite Kazakh journalist is at it again, this time he stormed a Milan fashion show dressed like somebody from Zoolander. Mr. Sacha Baron Cohen was in character as Austrian fashionista Bruno, is filming "Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Male", his new movie. I love pretty much everything this guys does, not matter how stupid it is. Lets just hope he dosen't have to make sexy time in the holding cell.

Come on, get happy

If you're in the 919, 252, or 336, forget -- for the next 12 hours or so -- about the Avett, Jonas, Smothers, Osbourne, Louvine, Flying Burrito, Coen, Chemical or whichever pair of Brothers makes your soul glow or your fancy pants dance.
The Felice Brothers, from upstate New York, are driving their Special Ed. school bus/home to Chapel Hill tonight to give The Local 506 some love.

To the pretty girls of Chapel Hill, I'll be the guy chain smoking in the back putting out the creepy vibe. Come say hi.

Kindness

If you never smoked pot in college, you probably went to class daily, studied often, participated in numerous activities which benefited the community, and remember those four years of your life like they happened yesterday. I would bet you even managed to get a job without having any previous connections to your employer. Then again, you also likely lived on campus for four years, never got laid, and played Magic the Gathering with the other undesirables at the weekly pizza parties in the dorm study lounge.

In the meantime, my cronies laughed at you while smoking, drinking, and screwing away multiple years of their lives (and, simultaneously, years off of their expected life spans). Anywho, there is now a school for those who enjoy "Higher Education" even more than my college brethren. I present to you, Oaksterdam University Click Here for More

Goodness Gracious Great "73 Year Old" Balls of Fire.

That's right folks, Jerry Lee Lewis came into this world 73 years ago today. The poor boy from eastern Louisiana, who has released countless albums and toured the world constantly, made a name for himself as he pioneered a sound we call Rockabilly. Along the way he played with and behind the likes of Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Carl Perkins and influenced rock-n-roll piano players such as Elton John, Billy Joel, and Ben Folds. Happy Birthday Jerry!

Monday Humor

Ran across this while surfing the interweb today. Contrary to what some people area saying, this is not Brad Pitt. I can't verify it; I'm just really, really smart.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Big Poppa

Associate Producer: Christopher "Notorious B.I.G. I'm still alive Biggie Smalls" Wallace.

RIP, Paul Newman - 1925-2008

This is a little delayed, but actor, race car driver, philanthropist, purveyor of delicious salad dressings and spaghetti sauces, and all-around badass, Paul Newman, died Saturday from complications from cancer. He was 83. A giant on the screen, one of the last of the great movie stars, Newman starred in over 65 films.

Luke, Hud, Butch, Fast Eddie: the man was, yes, much cooler than you. Hats off.


Click here for more better proper obits from better schooled proper folk who actually get paid to write.

Seems Fair

After participating in a 2004 prison riot, Wisconsin inmate Reggie Townsend was moved from his standard cell to the apparently less desirable segregation area of the reformatory. While here, Reggie was forced to spend his nights sleeping on a "wet, moldy, and foul-smelling mattress.” To compensate Mr. Townsend for his troubles, a federal jury recently awarded him the sum of $295,000. Click here for the story.

Over a quarter million dollars for being uncomfortable while in prison! I thought prisons were supposed to be uncomfortable? Looks like ol' Reggie will be well stocked in cigarettes, ingredients for toilet wine, porno mags, and soap on a rope. On second thought, skip the soap on the rope....getting sodomized must be less pleasant than sleeping in moisture. Cha-ching!

Poppin' Tacos

How this was approved is beyond me.

The Opposites

Talking Heads - Naive Melody (This Must Be The Place)

Ghetto Boys - Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta

Looks like somebody has a serious case of the Mondays

Have you ever wanted to tell your boss to suck a fattie right after they sat you down for a bitchfest? This chick pretty much takes it to the extreme after being insulted and talked down to. Home boy should have finished the job and fired her before leaving his office.

Fired Employee Destroys Office - Watch more free videos

Baby Makin' Music

A question for our times. It's awkward how easily it will get stuck in your head.

From Adult Swim, via Chet Hondo

Best Advice Ever

This came through the ol inbox the other day, and I found it quite funny. Call me simple, but it never ceases to amaze me how a few stick figures and some dirty words can make me laugh. Cheers!

He's Clay. He's Gay. Get used to it.

In a hard-hitting scoop that is gonna (adult-pop) rock the entertainment news cycle like a John Tesh Christmas album, Clay Aiken dropped an "obvious bomb" to People magazine that he is, in fact, gay. According to the Associated Press, Raleigh, NC's favorite androgynous son and recent father is on the cover of the magazine, which hits newsstands Wednesday:

"The cover of the latest People magazine shows Aiken holding his infant son, Parker Foster Aiken, with the headline: 'Yes, I'm Gay.' The cover also has the quote: 'I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things.'"(AP)

Exactly. You knew it. I knew it. Parker Foster Aiken probably knew it. So before you have to listen to stale-ass talk show hosts recycling lame cracks about it from three years ago or "entertainment experts" filling some time analyzing it on 24-hour news networks with their own unoriginal snark, let me just say congrats to Mr. Aiken. Congrats for sucking it up and coming to grips with yourself. I know you knew that this would rock your army of Claymates (conservative middle-aged women who serve as his financial base) more than most of the country and at least cause you some financial shortcomings in the short term. Honestly though, it's 2008, and the rest of us don't really give a shit. So congrats, dude: be happy, raise your kid honestly, and go take down some co-star on Broadway -- just don't get caught getting your picture taken, 'cause, though we support you, we don't want to see one frame of it.


UPDATE: This just in... apparently Lohan recently prefers her scrimmages to be inter-squad as well. Accepting pictures or videos.

Redneck + Money = Fun

Where do you come up with something like this?

Monday Humor

I'm sure everybody could use a laugh to get them through the rest of this Monday, so here ya go...

See more Will Ferrell videos at Funny or Die

Doing the bull dance, feeling the flow...

Boo Weekly right after he crushed a drive on Sunday of the Ryder Cup

Let's get on down to holding each other...

The Life and Times of Tim, premiering next Sunday, September 28th, on HBO.

Cautiously Optimistic. Seems a mixture of Dr. Katz and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Not a bad cocktail.

The Opposites

My Morning Jacket - One Big Holiday


Cool Kids - Black Mags

Can't a brother get some sleep?!?!

Wrong place to pass out buddy. Considering the reputation that Mets fans have for being unresonable and vicious, I think this guy got off pretty easy. This is a bit of a long video, but it is pretty funny.

3-2-1- Blackout!

I don't know how you go about training for 20 shots of vodka in a row, but apparently this dude has been working towards it for a while. At least he has goals.

Rap

It sounds so cool on the radio, but admit it, you have no idea what they're talking about. Allow YouTube to explain.

Hasn't this happened before?

Hey DeSean Jackson, you actually have to cross the goal line with the ball. This makes two times he has celebrated prematurely. You would think he might have learned the first time it happened on national television during the high school Army All-American game a few years back. This just gives everybody one more reason to hate Philadelphia

Judy Choppin' Kung Fu Kickin'

I don't know where this ricky is selling this video, or who in their right mind is buying it, hell it might not even be real. One thing that I do know is that this Karate Kid on crank is more than likely from northeast Tennessee.

Bangkok Fever?

Want to see Nic Cage acting all Nic Cage-y but don't have the $10, time, or remote desire to go see the canister of celluloid that Mr. Cage recently farted on and released as the motion picture 'Bangkok Dangerous'* at your local cineplex?

Well, we got your fix here for free...Here's another little payday Cager got a few years back -- this time, in Japan.



*This is not an official movie review, as we have not screened the film,** but merely an observational truth.
** This does not imply that we will ever in the future, for any reason, review the film 'Bangkok Dangerous.'***
***This does not imply that we will ever mention Nicolas Cage again.

Duke says "Duke Sucks"

In case you didn't know, Duke isn't very good at football. Duke also backed out of a four year deal with the University of Louisville to play one football game at Duke (2002), and three at Louisville (2007, 2008, 2009). Duke lost the first game 40-3, and then pulled out of the deal. Louisville says they can't find anybody of the same quality to fill the void and so they are suing Duke. Duke says that you could pretty much play anybody in the country and it would be a better game than Duke would be. Below is video footage of the trial with the judge and lawyers representing both schools.

This Just In from America's Heartland:

To all you First Basemen out there... sorry, but hellfire awaits you:
I like kissing girls. I will continue it. But before you go out this weekend, getting all whiskey-bent, face-raping hell bound, think about how crowded it will be in Satan's bosom.
Then again, maybe it's referring to the girl wanting to go have breakfast in the morning. Have a bent weekend, and we'll see you in church.

The Opposites

To bad neither of these guys are alive to continue making music.

Nirvana - Come As You Are


Johnny Cash - The Man comes Around

"They call me Tater Salad"

All I want to know is who he pissed off. Click here for the story.

Victory!

Do you know when to hang it up? Just call it quits? Well, one of my favorite television characters never knows when to say when. Hopefully with the fifth season of Entourage now under way, we will have a few more moments of sheer genius from Mr. Johnny Drama himself. Here is a video compilation of some of his highlights from the first four seasons.

I'm President Charley!

Atlanta's MARTA is renowned for it's impromptu performance art.
NSFW: strong and suggestive language, I think. It's hard to tell.

Honey, will you scratch my leg?

This video is from the UTEP game on Saturday. I love Mexicans!

Champion of the Sun

So, finally, here's my first post. You kids will probably get all the sports news/videos/nerd info you need from these other junky monkeys, so I'll just try to fill in the random when I can (to make all of you more well-rounded people). First off, one of the funnier, more underrated shows on tv -- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia -- is coming back on for its fourth season on Thursday, September 18 @ 10 o'clock on FX. If you haven't seen it... watch it, learn it, love it. It was tagged when it first aired as "Seinfeld on crack," which is bold but still about half accurate. Written by, starring, and produced by three real-life friends. If you like the ridiculous and things that are... good, you may like this. But maybe not. You could be stupid.

So here, boys and girls, is a tasty little clip from 'Sunny' from a previous episode of the now legendary song "Day Man" (which it is rumored will make a return in Season 4 as a full rock opera). Have a good weekend, and see if this diddy doesn't get stuck in your head.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

The Opposites

This week's Opposites is an illustration of the generation gap. Not to imply that the Brothers were above a little green--I'm sure they smoked their share and then some--but these two songs are great representations of their artist's careers. Enjoy.

Isley Brothers - Work To Do


Afro Man - Because I Got High

Pretty fly for a white guy